The names of birds are not inherently funny. However, when we apply society's various slang and vernacular, suddenly, the double entendres abound. You're welcome?
I will be honest. My inner 12-year-old prepubescent boy is about to show in a very noticeable way. I'm going to apologize before I start and after I finish. Please, for the love of godwit, do not let me be canceled.
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Here we go, a list of hilarious bird names.
A List of Funny Bird Names
(and a hint of Flocking Around)
The Hoary Puffleg, a type of hummingbird, is a name that brings to mind a Duke of something from a bygone era, with a rather effeminate glow, wearing oversized renaissance pantaloons. If you see this species in person, it truly appears to be wearing some puffy pants.
I do not need the joke here. However, for a bit of knowledge, 'tit' was originally used to mean something small. And for birds, the tits are small.
This bird's name sounds like a lyric from an overproduced Savage Garden single from 1996. Seriously, who named this bird? Say it as fast as you can, and stay upright in your chair (or on the toilet because most of you are reading this on the can).
First, if a bird has more than one hyphen in its name, it needs to be renamed. BUT, I might make an exception if its name sounds like a 7-year-old's name for their poorly built stuffed animal from the county fair, which is also the same place most people buy their illicit drugs.
This bird sounds like your mother's coworker that hosts an under-attended book club, owns too many cats, and does not use "the Facebooks."
This is what Tommy, the high school jock that graduated at age 20 with a 1.2 GPA now employed as an exotic male dancer, refers to his signature dance move as.
Why this bird? WHY-DAH?
How did you even name this bird?
Kori Bustard sounds like a former farm team pitcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates that got called up to the 'big show' three times in his career and now lives out of the trunk of his Buick Skylark, taking money from middle-America families trying to turn their asthmatic children into superstars.
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Want even more bird-themed laughter? Check out The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America!
All hail the bringer of song, the harbinger of sunlight, the carrier of dance, weirdest of its name, the King-of-Saxony Bird-of-Paradise.
Is this how Yogi's sidekick refers to himself after he returns from a 10-day trip to Sandals Jamaica?
No, I do not want to take this free workout class offered at the local Y.
You should get that checked out, bro.
Is this just a typo? Where is autocorrect?
This sounds like a children's dance troop that horrid stage moms force their daughters to participate in.
Flying Steamer Duck
Is this a dish made famous by the hole-in-the-wall restaurant that you always save for special occasions?
Ah yes, we all know the Greek fable about 'Maleo,' the epic hero that ate the fallen fruit giving him the wisdom of the gods. That is, until he became greedy and perished from an unwise attempt to eat more fallen fruit.
Did you see-see it? No, I miss-missed it.
This overhyped plot device from a Nicholas Cage movie caused the fall of man.
I told you it wasn't ripe.
Inaccessible Island Rail
How the bleep did it get this even get discovered?!
This unibrowed, Russian turnip farmer has no time for a man.
You need to stay warm somehow when you are stuck on that oversized sheet of ice. Does it count if you're cold?
This is a SyFy movie about a northern Maine folktale. You only saw it because you called in sick the day after the Superbowl. I know that because I did it too. Did Stephen King write it? Ya know what? Probably.
Is this a finishing move from Mortal Kombat? Or maybe Johnny Karate first named it...
Who doesn't love reading quotes from vulgar-mouthed birds? Check out Effin' Birds! Effin' Birds has had a hilarious presence across the internet for some time.
You should not have eaten that questionable vegemite.
Billy Mays once convinced me to purchase this for 4 easy payments of $24.99.
Do not knock.
Where do I even start?
The 8-character version of Twitter, known as Twitter-lite or Twite, never caught on.
I won't make the inappropriate joke. Instead, here is my favorite woodcock video.
An insult offered by a stereotypical crook in a "spaghetti western."
Make your own joke in the comments below!
Bird names continue to polarize and/or delight birders and non-birders alike. Regardless of your expertise or background, I hope you take enjoyment with birds (and their silly names). Most importantly, I hope your cheeks are sore from laughing too much at my ridiculous commentary on bird names. If so, share this list with your friends.